mission monday:: the joy in giving

boog, nikon d50 digital

Okay, let's be honest. I think most of us are naturally fairly compassionate humans. We don't want to see others hurt or in pain or struggling.

BUT...we also have our own crap to deal with and work and bills and family of origin issues that frankly, we could use a helping hand with.

So while I think many times we want to give our time or money to worthy causes, there can be a sense of obligation or resentment or overwhelm if we are trying to fit it in with all the other stuff that is everyday life.

Here's what I've learned in my own giving journey.

Lesson 1.
To find joy in giving, the cause must be personally impactful.

My first attempt at volunteering was with the sierra club. Great organization. However, I found that I enjoyed being out in nature more than writing letters that honestly, I didn't think had that much of an impact or the occasional dinner with people that I just wasn't connecting with.

However, when John got sick and underwent chemo therapy, I was overcome with a sense of helplessness and frustration at his journey. I found a wonderful organization called chemo angels where you connect weekly with gifts and cards to someone undergoing chemotherapy. Being able to reach out to someone undergoing the same journey John was going through and bring a little joy to them has meant the world to me because I was affected by it first hand.

And it's something I still enjoy, even after he has gone.

Lesson 2.
To find joy in giving, I need to honor my emotional availability.

I absolutely loved our experience with adopting our boog from a rescue and quickly became involved in various events, walking kenneled dogs and going to meet and greets.

That changed with our Keely. Keely came to us looking like this. Rehabilitating her took every ounce of emotional and physical energy we had. And all of a sudden, I couldn't be around the animals in rescue. Keely broke my heart open in a way it hadn't been before and it was too painful to see all these sweet animals that just wanted to be loved.

I felt guilty, like I had somehow failed. I felt like I 'should' be stronger, do better, be more.

It took a while to realize that berating myself didn't get me back into walking those dogs. In fact, I found myself unable to participate at all in rescue events because if I couldn't do what I thought I 'should' do, in the way I thought I 'should' do it, then I became paralyzed and did nothing.

But when I honored what I could give emotionally, other options to give became apparent to me. Like educating those around me about the issues facing our pets today. And...as I have allowed myself the space that I needed, I have found myself willing to explore volunteering more directly again.

Lesson 3.
To find joy in giving, I had to stop trying to find the 'right' cause.

Everyone is talking about the environment. Brad Pitt is on TV talking about rebuilding Katrina. Aids in Africa is on the minds of many. Maybe these causes really speak to you and find great joy in diving into them. BUT...maybe they seem like something that we are 'supposed' to be involved in.

I hopped on that train alot. There are SO many worthy causes out there and I felt like I 'had' to participate in the ones with the most focus. Surely, if I didn't, that meant I didn't think they were important or meaningful. Surely, if I didn't, that meant I wasn't helping the community out the way I 'should'.

Every life is worthy. Every way we positively touch a life is wonderful. And the bottom line is this. If I don't enjoy what I am doing, I am not going to do it for very long. And then what have I accomplished?

So, your mission for the week, should you choose to accept is: contemplate giving in ways you enjoy. Is it speaking? Giving gift baskets? Giving a dog a walk? Giving dignity and peace to someone as they transition?

Just imagine if we all found a way to give in joy, in all our unique ways. Think of the lives we'd touch.