joy rebel interview:: skotchdopaled

My dear friend Allison not only inspires the elaine dance, she also wrote a uniquely gorgeous book of photos and words. I am so pleased to share her with you today!!



1. Okay sweet cheeks! Please let us all know who you are and a little about what you create.
Hello lovely! I'm Allison Tyler and I like to write and take pictures and keep myself amused. I write very short fiction bits. I aspire to write longer pieces but they elude me. The idea of a novel or even a long short story freaks me out. I write about love and death and sex and food and relationships...I write observational/vignette type things rather than actual stories. I wrote a book called Skotchdopaled and you can read about it here. I also write a bit here, and here and, um, my cats' have a blog, too, because I'm just that insane here
{note: I adore her cats. They love me too. So there}

2. Can you talk a little about your creative process for this book? What were your inspirations for creating it?
I have had a writing illness since I was a child. I can't NOT write. I'm not sure why that is. Perhaps because I am very shy, so I observe everything and it swirls in my head. I need a way to get things out of my head, so I put them down on paper and in that process my own filter morphs the truth into fiction. It's therapeutic for me. I live out my hopes and dreams and experiences and fears on paper. I have always wanted to compile my writings and photos in a book, and have been very encouraged by friends for years and years to do so. But, even with that encouragement, I didn't feel my stuff was worthy. I get rejection letters all the time; though I have been published in The Sun magazine. Thank you, Sun!

Everything else I have ever submitted has been rejected and, although I'm good at handling rejection, or thought I was, I think it stunted my ability to put a book together...again, that fear of 'worthy' - the feeling of not being 'accepted' by others made me feel I wasn't good enough, the idea that others decide what is art instead of me deciding...the feeling that my stuff was drivel. Especially since my stories are so very wee and my stuff has often been described by others as 'weird'. It is a dangerous thing to allow others to judge the worth of your art. Took me a long time to realize that. Part of my being able to finally do so was watching my creative friends, YOU for instance (!). Watching you DO your art despite any fear you might have surrounding it is extremely inspiring. To be witness to the process and success of a loved ones can inspire like nothing else.

Sometimes, it also triggers envy, this feeling of, oh my gosh, she did it, she did it, I'm so proud of her...but wait, why aren't I doing it? How the hell did SHE do that? Why can't I do that? Wow... Envy is not necessarily negative, it's just a sign there is something you need to do for yourself that you are not currently doing. I'm lucky to have friends who are enough in their own power that I can discuss challenges like this with them and this made it easier for me to turn my envy and awe into inspiration and drive. I used to talk about doing something like writing a book - and I burned all the energy on talking about it, rather than doing it...imagining what it might be like, rather than being willing to take the risk and knowing rather than imaging what it was like.

Earlier in the year I began the process of leaving an unsatisfactory marriage and that process of choosing to change my life to allow myself to have greater joy changed me in a lot of unexpected ways - I felt so free to create, so free of wanting another's positive judgment...I somehow lost the 'need' for acceptance. And as I moved through this process of change and feeling stronger day by day, I knew I was going to be able to finally write the book. I didn't even mention it to anyone; I didn't put the energy into talking about what I wanted to do, I just started doing it. It was so clear to me suddenly. I had found the strength to take control of my life and my happiness in one area (leaving my marriage) and that strength carried over into all the other areas of my life, and writing the book became real. Life works in strange ways....



3. How about inspirations in general?
Along with being inspired by my friends, I'm inspired by reading, reading is my savior. I'm also inspired by everything I'm exposed to. I'm solitary by nature, so I live a lot in my head. I'll see something or hear a snippet of conversation or watch someone on the subway and I create a story around what I see.

I bought a 2010 calendar last week and it is misprinted - the month of October (my birthday month) is missing. I think in anyone that would prompt all sorts of speculation and questions and it did in me, too. What the hell is going to happen to me in October, 2010? And is it just a coincidence that it's my birthday month? What if I were never born? What if on the last day of September, 2010 I disappear and no one ever hears from me again? What would the press conference be like when my boyfriend was up there answering questions from the media and tearfully asking for my safe return? (Obviously, I have a flair for the dramatic!) Would he be accused of killing me? Would the woman who has been stalking me since 2004 be accused? Who would take care of my cats? And what if my apartment were messy or I had forgotten to flush the toilet or something embarrassing had been left laying about or a pot of food was cooking when I disappeared and it burned down my apartment building? And what time would I disappear - exactly 12 midnight? And where would I go? And what if I didn't have shoes on? And how long would it be before anyone found me or, rather, DIDN'T find me? And would I be able see what was going on after my disappearance, or would I simply cease to exist completely or cease to never HAVE existed and no one would have any memory of me and there was no apartment with my name on the lease...and and and. This is how stories happen for me...

4. You are so creative in your photo manipulations! For anyone who is interested in learning how to be more creative in their photography, do you have any tips or suggestions?
Thank you! I learned Photoshop by playing and there were a few books years ago that helped (one is called How To Cheat In Photoshop), but I find I learn by doing rather than reading. There are probably MUCH easier ways to do the things I do, but I don't know them, as my technical level of knowledge is probably very low. When I made the website for the book, I had almost no knowledge of web design, but I do have Dreamweaver on my iMac. I bought a Dreamweaver book - which was expensive and totally worthless to me, as I'm impatient and didn't have the patience to go through it and really learn the program. I knew what I wanted to do and I'm very stubborn so if I get an idea, I MUST do it, even without the knowledge to know how to. I ended up Google-ing things I wanted to do and read little tutorials I found online, and there were some videos on YouTube that helped as well. And, finally, I got my website done to my vision. That being said, from a technical standpoint, it's built completely wrong - it's all graphics so it's not searchable on any search engine and it probably looks wonky in a lot of browsers. And my original vision changed a bit as I made it (this happens with anything I create), but I'm happy with how the site came out, even if it is technically wrong. I have spent MANY frustrated (and sometimes tearful) hours trying to create visions I've seen in my head.

A friend recently asked me how I created a manipulation and I could not tell her step-by-step because I don't know. I just sit down and start playing; I zone out, same thing with my writing. I often will look at a finished piece or read a finished story and think, "Did I do that? How did I do that? Huh?". Maybe I have multiple personality disorder and an alter is doing it. Ha! Ok, I just scared the crap out of myself....

5. If you had one piece of advice to share with someone regarding creating art, what would it be?
It sounds so trite, but my saving grace has been don't compare yourself and your art to anyone else's. I still struggle with this at times. Please don't torture yourself with that, because it's a battle you cannot win and it will prevent you from using your own voice. You can't create what anyone else can and they can't create what you can. Art is so subjective. Think about how many really popular or financially-viable creations or books there are that simply do not resonate for you.

This will happen with your own art, too, and it's OK. Doesn't matter. Do your thing anyway. The world needs your creations. Create and set it free. Also, be willing to, as Anne Lamott wrote in her book Bird by Bird, write shitty first drafts, and this applies to any art, not just writing. Perfection is a killer. Fuck perfection. We can't be perfect anyway, so don't waste the time or energy trying to achieve the unattainable. Sometimes, a project I'm creating on just will not work, and it's OK to say, DONE with this. And then you start on something else.

One more thing, a quote by Toni Morrison..."If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." I'd add to that, if there is something that has been written (or drawn, painted, created, etc.) and you love it, feel free to try your own spin on it. That's not plagiarism, it's practice. Eventually you will find your own unique voice, and even when you do, your creative influences may still sing in your work and that's fine. If I'm particularly inspired by someone's art and I create my own based on theirs, I will credit that person with inspiring me. They deserve that! It's one thing to be inspired and quite another to 'steal' someone's stuff and pretend it was your own idea. I see a lot of that on the internet - blatant copying, though it's a fine line sometimes because, as the cliche goes, there's nothing new under the sun. Another cliche for consideration is that imitation is the greatest form of flattery. I don't agree. Inspiration may be the greatest form of flattery, but imitation stems from a lack of creativity on the imitators part; perhaps from fear that their own ideas suck. So, be inspired, but don't imitate. If something exists, it means it's already here, we already have it, so we don't need an exact replica. Your own voice is valuable and we need that. Please share it with the rest of us.



6. What does joy mean to you and how do stay connected to it?
All my life, when asked what I wanted to be when I grow up (as if THAT will ever happen!) I've replied "Happy!" I still feel that way. Joy and happiness, to me, are omnipotent. I'm not a unicorn-fart and dancing fairy sort of person {note: ha!}...I have myriad moods and emotions and am NOT happy all the time, and I won't pretend to be. It's healthy to have facets that aren't so pretty. Happiness is a choice we can make over and over and sometimes it's really hard. I've learned to keep choosing it because it feels so much better than the alternatives.

Sometimes, I'm not happy at all - my 9-month-old kitten died on November 27th of FIP, 14 days after getting ill and I'm still so sad and shocked by this. I can hardly talk about it. But within the mourning I have been able to experience moments of joy, and sometimes hours of joy, and even a whole day of joy. Laughter is truly the remedy and I'm blessed with friends who feel the same...we keep each other laughing and we heal together and we get through. We all choose to choose joy - not that it's always easy, but it's an option - and I want that option. I want to be a happy person, and I am. There is always something good to focus on that can make us happy. In the midst of the ugly times (because there will be ugly times!), if you are able to, try to find some joy. If you can't, it's OK...just have faith it will come back at some point. I promise it will.

7. Anything coming up that you'd like to share with us?
I would like to suggest that anyone reading this interview answer Brandi's questions for themselves. I found the process of doing so quite rather challenging and, also, really wonderful. Brandi, thank you so much for YOU! I love you, girl!

Love you too! Thank you so much for sharing your art with us today!

All-Allison is offering one lucky commenter a copy of her book with surprise treat. Please leave a comment by end of day thursday for your chance to get Skotchdopaled! {giveaway now closed}